Push Me, Pull You?

When things are "all about you," you can make the decisions for yourself - not only are you able to do so, but you must, because nobody else will make them for you (inertia being a tacit decision not to make a decision, of course). The weather might complicate your wishes, but, for the most part, you can have things go your way.

For example: the order of your tasks for the day; whether to clean the car; when to buy and sell (you may be subject to the whims of the market, but how you react is up to you); how much time to spend outdoors; and so on.

So many things, however, are not "all about you" (or at least, not all about ME).

What happens when what you want runs counter to what someone else wants?

Sometimes, the lines are clear:

• if you want to speed, and the laws of the land prohibit that, you are subject to fines (and perhaps more) when you break the rule.
• if your boss wants you to complete payroll by Friday, your refusal may put your job at risk.
• if you want to shop, but the mall is closed - too bad for you.
• if you want to lose 20 pounds (or 5 or 40 or 100) by tomorrow, the laws of biology and physics won't let you.

But sometimes, you have choices.

• when the guy you like doesn't like you to the same degree - do you walk away? fight to change his mind? accept the friendship for what it is?
• when medical school doesn't let you in, do you take the MCATs again? apply to school in Guam? apply to be a physician's assistant instead?
• when your boss passes you over for promotion, do you leave the firm? push for more responsibility from other avenues? settle back into your current position?
• when your travel buddy wants to camp in the Adirondacks, and you want to relax in the tropics, do you book a single flight to the Caribbean? pack your camping gear? plan a week of each?

In the Africa of Dr. Doolittle (who really lived in Puddleby-by-the Marsh), the pushmi-pullyus were the rarest animal of all. A "gazelle-unicorn cross," it was "the only animal in the world with two heads" - one of each on each end. Lack of coordination between the heads meant that each pushed for its own direction, and attempted to pull the other along with it. Since the other side was doing the same, stasis was more commonly achieved than purposeful movement. Compromise wasn't really in the cards.

http://satisfactorycomics.blogspot.co.il/2012/01/alphabeasts-p-is-for-pushmi-pullyu.html

I fear that, too often, when what I want counters what the other person wants, we don't really manage a meeting of the minds. Either, I accept the other's approach (a.k.a., "giving in") or I can walk away (which never really serves my purpose either). I'd rather see compromise (since I'm not really comfortable being on the receiving end of someone giving in). Better yet - in fact, best of all - is when the other person comes around to my way of thinking on his or her own (though he or she likely would prefer the same of me and my thinking).