Other People's Calls

I've written several times on the impact of making a decision in the context of those made by others. It's one of the hardest aspects of hashing through your issues and arriving at your own independent conclusions. That is, no matter how much painful effort you make, you may soon discover that your investment matters not a whit. Well, maybe a whit - you wouldn't be who you are without the decisions  you make. But if the university of your choice, or the profession you desire, or the raise you deserve are not available to you, then it doesn't matter that you figured out what would be best for you.

Every so often, we have the chance to tell "others" what we think of their decisions. Especially when their decisions pertain to our own (when they are less removed than a university acceptance committee, or the like). Admittedly, this is not always a good idea. Nobody wants to be called a fool - no matter how foolish you've assessed them to be. And, of course, anyone who concludes differently from ME is surely a fool, no? To my mind, that is an exaggeration; sometimes, we have the opportunity to agree to disagree. But if your decision contradicts my hard-won conclusion, then I'm going to be hard-pressed to think you're right. You may be entitled to your position, but that doesn't mean I'm going to think it's a good one. I might even do everything I can to help you see things my way. Attempting to reverse another is not particularly respectful, of course. But despite my general interest in wanting people to think and do whatever it is that they want themselves to think and do, it's near impossible (for me, anyway) to refrain from correcting the undesirable outcome that contradicts my own conclusions - when it has impact on me, I mean.

Yes, one such conflict hit me over the head the other day. I'm not seeing stars. I'm not even sure I'm reeling. But I'm hard-pressed to relinquish my perception of what I think ought to transpire, despite the fact that the choice may well be out of my hands.

http://fantasystock.deviantart.com/art/Male-and-Female-Hands-Set-06-50386071