Experiencing the Sudden Blurts

I start with the mistaken premise that people make decisions in the same way.

I refine this premise when I recall that some people are more swayed by their emotions and some people are more rational - specifically with regard to how they make decisions (some of the most rational people rely on their emotions for their decisions, and emotional people certainly exercise their powers of reason when they make their choices).

I think I'd like to characterize the "rational decision-making" as "slow" and the "emotional decision-making" as "quick," even though the process for the key players may take equal amounts of time (fast or slow, depending on all of the factors that every decision may depend on).

I'm particularly struck by this difference because of some decisions I had to make myself a three months ago. I wasn't sure what I wanted, I then was pretty sure what I wanted, but I couldn't act on it until I was truly sure, and then, I was sure, and took action (not very active action - just sending an email). I made the decision knowing that I couldn't know whether the outcome I wanted would happen (more than just the receipt of the email, obviously), but I couldn't have made the decision without knowing what I hoped for.

Time, I figured, would take care of the rest.

Except the backdrop against which I'd done my thinking and acting changed. My experience of that change was a sudden denouement (how can a denouement be sudden? trust me on this - it can). Where the reflection that went into the action that precipitated the change may have been in the works for a while, but it was behind the scenes. That is, my experience was that of a conclusion brought to my attention in blurted out spurts.

I respect the honesty that underlies that approach. It has the disadvantage of not being measured in delivery. It also has the disadvantage (for me) of not including me in the process. Not that everyone always does, or even can - I realize that. I realize also that the results of my own decision a couple of months ago (that email) came as a surprise to its recipient. Perhaps an email that arrives out of the blue, even when you think you want it to, even when you feel "blessed" by virtue of my decision, and even when you've been consulted as to whether you're amenable, is experienced as a sudden blurt as well.

I know that most decisions are made instantly by means of emotion (more on this in another post). But since I'm prone to "thinking things through" - a.k.a. agonizing - it is particularly challenging to bear the brunt of the quick result.

Of course, time will still take care of the rest.