Trying It On for Size Doesn't Always Fit

There's an old piece of advice: when in doubt, do without. This is a reasonable way to go in that it is able to save you money and shame. It's also a ridiculous way to go - as a matter of policy, I mean - because it risks leaving you out of all kinds of great experiences...and perhaps the paths that would turn into avenues of all kinds of opportunity.

If that sounds preachy, it's unintentional, and also irrelevant, since it's not really the focus of today's post.

Another reasonable piece of advice - when facing decisions - is to try the different options on for size. That is, "decide" in favor of one option. See how you feel about that. Then "decide" in favor of the other option. See how you feel about that. Does one of these two attempts (or however many options that you might have) feel better to you? More natural? More appealing? More lasting? If so - when so! - you have a fairly good idea of which choice is the one you want (whether you're correct in your assessment is a different matter).

The problem is that it doesn't always work. 

Sometimes, you may feel certain (whether pro or con) regarding a particular option, but you know that you are not in a position to trust your certainty.

The obvious example of this is heroin. But there are times we dupe ourselves into poor decision-making, or even decision-avoidance without the excuse of substance abuse.

If you are over-joyed, or depressed, or grieving, or letting your hormones rule your actions, or simply too cluttered in your mind from general busy-ness, you are at risk of not being able to process your decision well. Trying it on for size may be simply insufficient. Sometimes, and it's a radical thought for me, we have to gamble that our heads know what is right for us...even when our heads are steering us differently. On this kind of (rare) occasion, we need to trust we know now what we will want then, when our decisions come to fruition, even though we don't want it now, and act accordingly. It's not a trial run, then; it's going through the motions, but for real. It's wearing the decision, and it's assuming you won't shed it down the road.

Choosing the one option over another when you don't feel vested in what you know to be the right move does more than put your strength of intellect before your strength of feeling. It counters the emotion that is dragging you to choose otherwise, and requires that you trust...not your gut, but your underlying self that you are doing right by you.