So Much Unfairness of Things

(With apologies to C.D.B.Bryan, and his excellent short story, one of the most memorable from my own schooling, to the extent that I later foisted it upon a new generation of English students. For more, see his son's blog)

I began this blog at the impetus of a friend, but I had "something to write about" because I was in the throes of making a decision, and the process made me think about how people arrive at their decisions in such different ways...and how much "decision-making" permeates everything we do, always.

I emerged from those throes, and proceeded to conduct myself in accord with my decision. But choosing what we want to do is not (always) enough. Knowing what I wanted - and acting on it - did not bring me to the desired results. And that's the "so much unfairness." It's a shame when things don't turn out how we want...but when you grapple with pros and cons, and finally make conclusions and act on them...that's more than things not turning out as you want them to turn out. Of course, I learned long ago that life is not fair - probably everyone has confronted aspects of their lives turning out differently from what they'd hoped for. But it's not fair that it's not fair.

For all that I say this, I'm not actually morose. To some extent - sometimes, to a great extent - things are out of our hands. Mostly, I think, we all just continue along, even when things don't go our way - even when we work to have them go our way. Which means that there's always a new decision to make...in light of the new circumstances (in this case, that the last thing didn't work out). I'm not always a fan of having to make decisions, but I've always been a big fan of having decisions to make.

And honestly, I'm grateful that in the scheme of the world, my choices are challenging because they are mine to make, but rarely because they are actually - objectively - deep, dark challenges. Thankfully.