Yesterday, was the first month of the Hebrew month of Elul, a day that heralds a nearly two-month period of introspection, reflection, repentance, and resolution.
This post is just a teaser, but I think I'll begin my repentance and resolution with the easiest option: ending my "blog vacation" (you didn't know there was one, did you?). June's experiment of writing every day worked well for me...and while every day might become tedious for the rest of you (oh, and also me), the "frequent" approach seems to be more effective (in terms of production) than awaiting masterpieces of elocution that I have in my mind, but don't have time to create.
One day at a time...that may be the motto for the season...(and perhaps for the next 7 1/2 years, but more on that later).
Glad to be back.
Monday, August 20, 2012
Friday, July 27, 2012
Less at Once: Some Things Clear
Wanna know?
Here are some "answers":
The smaller size shoes. The clerk may be right that they are the "wrong" size for me, but they are far more comfortable on my feet than the size she maintains is right, so too bad for her.
How about "no activity" instead? Rather, something that hadn't been on the original list of options. Those things probably still need to be completed, but the evening is gone and I'm well engrossed in the many more since (and the ones that will follow from this moment too).
Maybe buy...but at the moment, "rent" won. Not actually because I made a decision, but because the owner decided to go with someone else whom he thought would close within two days (rightly or wrongly, it would have taken me longer). So I'm remembering the Fourth Cardinal Rule of Real Estate (after "location, location, and location"): there is always another property. No, it won't be "as good," but it will also be better. Or that guy won't have pulled his act together in two days either, and I'll be able to offer less than previously for a "quick sale" (ha!).
"This flight" - with family, to family, by family. Lots and lots of family. But we're a fairly small extended family and I live far away, so to be able to see so many so many times within so few days is a treat.
Outside exercise. Hot, yes. But at least there's air.
And, of course, sleeping won.
So I'm off to tackle some academic work this very minute, in the hope of bringing the "long term" to bear on the short term.
Here are some "answers":
The smaller size shoes. The clerk may be right that they are the "wrong" size for me, but they are far more comfortable on my feet than the size she maintains is right, so too bad for her.
How about "no activity" instead? Rather, something that hadn't been on the original list of options. Those things probably still need to be completed, but the evening is gone and I'm well engrossed in the many more since (and the ones that will follow from this moment too).
Maybe buy...but at the moment, "rent" won. Not actually because I made a decision, but because the owner decided to go with someone else whom he thought would close within two days (rightly or wrongly, it would have taken me longer). So I'm remembering the Fourth Cardinal Rule of Real Estate (after "location, location, and location"): there is always another property. No, it won't be "as good," but it will also be better. Or that guy won't have pulled his act together in two days either, and I'll be able to offer less than previously for a "quick sale" (ha!).
"This flight" - with family, to family, by family. Lots and lots of family. But we're a fairly small extended family and I live far away, so to be able to see so many so many times within so few days is a treat.
Outside exercise. Hot, yes. But at least there's air.
And, of course, sleeping won.
So I'm off to tackle some academic work this very minute, in the hope of bringing the "long term" to bear on the short term.
Wednesday, July 11, 2012
A Lot at Once
So many decisions...(you've heard this from me before, and they're not even the same decisions as my previous ones...or not most of them anyway).
This size or that size (in a pair of shoes)...
This activity or that activity (in an evening's few hours)...
To continuing renting or to buy (in real estate)...that's a big one.
This flight or that flight (in traveling to see family)...that one's not fully up to me, though.
Outside or inside (in exercise, in Jerusalem heat)...
Sleeping or pushing myself (to finish academic work)...there's no question which of these two needs to happen, and just as little question of what has been happening too much of late. Yes, my expedient choice of the moment, but the long term is paying for my short-term zzzzzz's.
I've been spending so much time DECIDING (well, deliberating, I suppose), that I am less inclined to chose to write about it. But the June experiment turned out well - blogging (nearly) every day was officially good for me. So even though, somehow, July suggested a break from that, I can envision an August that will let me return to the June-swing-of-things. When some of these decisions will have been concluded despite myself.
This size or that size (in a pair of shoes)...
This activity or that activity (in an evening's few hours)...
To continuing renting or to buy (in real estate)...that's a big one.
This flight or that flight (in traveling to see family)...that one's not fully up to me, though.
Outside or inside (in exercise, in Jerusalem heat)...
Sleeping or pushing myself (to finish academic work)...there's no question which of these two needs to happen, and just as little question of what has been happening too much of late. Yes, my expedient choice of the moment, but the long term is paying for my short-term zzzzzz's.
I've been spending so much time DECIDING (well, deliberating, I suppose), that I am less inclined to chose to write about it. But the June experiment turned out well - blogging (nearly) every day was officially good for me. So even though, somehow, July suggested a break from that, I can envision an August that will let me return to the June-swing-of-things. When some of these decisions will have been concluded despite myself.
Friday, June 29, 2012
Push Me, Pull You?
When things are "all about you," you can make the decisions for yourself - not only are you able to do so, but you must, because nobody else will make them for you (inertia being a tacit decision not to make a decision, of course). The weather might complicate your wishes, but, for the most part, you can have things go your way.
For example: the order of your tasks for the day; whether to clean the car; when to buy and sell (you may be subject to the whims of the market, but how you react is up to you); how much time to spend outdoors; and so on.
So many things, however, are not "all about you" (or at least, not all about ME).
What happens when what you want runs counter to what someone else wants?
Sometimes, the lines are clear:
In the Africa of Dr. Doolittle (who really lived in Puddleby-by-the Marsh), the pushmi-pullyus were the rarest animal of all. A "gazelle-unicorn cross," it was "the only animal in the world with two heads" - one of each on each end. Lack of coordination between the heads meant that each pushed for its own direction, and attempted to pull the other along with it. Since the other side was doing the same, stasis was more commonly achieved than purposeful movement. Compromise wasn't really in the cards.
I fear that, too often, when what I want counters what the other person wants, we don't really manage a meeting of the minds. Either, I accept the other's approach (a.k.a., "giving in") or I can walk away (which never really serves my purpose either). I'd rather see compromise (since I'm not really comfortable being on the receiving end of someone giving in). Better yet - in fact, best of all - is when the other person comes around to my way of thinking on his or her own (though he or she likely would prefer the same of me and my thinking).
For example: the order of your tasks for the day; whether to clean the car; when to buy and sell (you may be subject to the whims of the market, but how you react is up to you); how much time to spend outdoors; and so on.
So many things, however, are not "all about you" (or at least, not all about ME).
What happens when what you want runs counter to what someone else wants?
Sometimes, the lines are clear:
- if you want to speed, and the laws of the land prohibit that, you are subject to fines (and perhaps more) when you break the rule.
- if your boss wants you to complete payroll by Friday, your refusal may put your job at risk.
- if you want to shop, but the mall is closed - too bad for you.
- if you want to lose 20 pounds (or 5 or 40 or 100) by tomorrow, the laws of biology and physics won't let you.
- when the guy you like doesn't like you to the same degree - do you walk away? fight to change his mind? accept the friendship for what it is?
- when medical school doesn't let you in, do you take the MCATs again? apply to school in Guam? apply to be a physician's assistant instead?
- when your boss passes you over for promotion, do you leave the firm? push for more responsibility from other avenues? settle back into your current position?
- when your travel buddy wants to camp in the Adirondacks, and you want to relax in the tropics, do you book a single flight to the Caribbean? pack your camping gear? plan a week of each?
In the Africa of Dr. Doolittle (who really lived in Puddleby-by-the Marsh), the pushmi-pullyus were the rarest animal of all. A "gazelle-unicorn cross," it was "the only animal in the world with two heads" - one of each on each end. Lack of coordination between the heads meant that each pushed for its own direction, and attempted to pull the other along with it. Since the other side was doing the same, stasis was more commonly achieved than purposeful movement. Compromise wasn't really in the cards.
 |
| http://satisfactorycomics.blogspot.co.il/2012/01/alphabeasts-p-is-for-pushmi-pullyu.html |
I fear that, too often, when what I want counters what the other person wants, we don't really manage a meeting of the minds. Either, I accept the other's approach (a.k.a., "giving in") or I can walk away (which never really serves my purpose either). I'd rather see compromise (since I'm not really comfortable being on the receiving end of someone giving in). Better yet - in fact, best of all - is when the other person comes around to my way of thinking on his or her own (though he or she likely would prefer the same of me and my thinking).
Tuesday, June 26, 2012
The Perils of Caution
How risk-averse are you? How adventuresome are you? Is that a conscious decision? Would you rather jump into the unknown? Would you rather remain calm?
Over the years, I've discovered that I'm not as risk-averse as I thought I was. Rather, for the right reasons, I'm able to take risks. Bungee-jumping still holds no appeal. Gambling all my money - no appeal there either. But emotional risks - I'm all for 'em. And even some physical challenges - I've discovered that I can do what I need to when I need to, if I really need to. And yes, that is indeed a very conscious decision.
So too, these days, when the risk seems too great to bear, I have no shame in being averse to it. The unknown factor, of course, is how risky the given venture is. And when to bear it and when to avoid. Because missing out might be a serious shame (even if you don't have FOMO - aka: Fear Of Missing Out). And because suffering the dangerous consequences of a real risk gone wrong are likely never worth it.
Over the years, I've discovered that I'm not as risk-averse as I thought I was. Rather, for the right reasons, I'm able to take risks. Bungee-jumping still holds no appeal. Gambling all my money - no appeal there either. But emotional risks - I'm all for 'em. And even some physical challenges - I've discovered that I can do what I need to when I need to, if I really need to. And yes, that is indeed a very conscious decision.
So too, these days, when the risk seems too great to bear, I have no shame in being averse to it. The unknown factor, of course, is how risky the given venture is. And when to bear it and when to avoid. Because missing out might be a serious shame (even if you don't have FOMO - aka: Fear Of Missing Out). And because suffering the dangerous consequences of a real risk gone wrong are likely never worth it.
Monday, June 25, 2012
Excuses, Excuses
In a country with socialized medicine and some remnants of a seriously socialist society, when an employee has a doctor's appointment, it is considered an "excused absence" from work. The employee must procure a "doctor's note" demonstrating that he or she was indeed a patient, and then the powers-that-be at the place of employment excuse some measure of absence. The doctors know about this, and dole them out as a matter of course (when the patient remembers to ask).
As it happens, today, I had an appointment with the dermatologist (all clear, thank God). I forgot to ask for a note. I called the office and asked the secretary to fax the note - which she agreed to do. I have heard no report of its arrival, however. No matter - I'll get that note eventually. Right now, I'm busier trying to figure out how much "excused absence" I can take.
The maximum is three hours. But I only arrived to work two hours later than I prefer to arrive. But sometimes, I arrive later than I prefer to arrive...so I am ambivalent about taking two hours, when, hypothetically, I might have been late - and perhaps only "entitled" to counting one hour as the excused absence. Though I wasn't actually late that way - since I wasn't at work at all, to be late. Rather, I was at the doctor's office!
I have another half-hour or so to decide whether I work a seven hour day or more (the normal requirement, when no doctors have been visited, is nine hours).
Tick tock....tick tock...
As it happens, today, I had an appointment with the dermatologist (all clear, thank God). I forgot to ask for a note. I called the office and asked the secretary to fax the note - which she agreed to do. I have heard no report of its arrival, however. No matter - I'll get that note eventually. Right now, I'm busier trying to figure out how much "excused absence" I can take.
The maximum is three hours. But I only arrived to work two hours later than I prefer to arrive. But sometimes, I arrive later than I prefer to arrive...so I am ambivalent about taking two hours, when, hypothetically, I might have been late - and perhaps only "entitled" to counting one hour as the excused absence. Though I wasn't actually late that way - since I wasn't at work at all, to be late. Rather, I was at the doctor's office!
I have another half-hour or so to decide whether I work a seven hour day or more (the normal requirement, when no doctors have been visited, is nine hours).
Tick tock....tick tock...
Friday, June 22, 2012
Bad Choices: Want vs. Should
It's been quite a week, and I haven't sufficiently stuck to my plan to blog every day of June (which is a wimpy way of acknowledging that I haven't blogged every day of June). I believe it boils down to choosing what I want to do in that given moment that could have been dedicated to blogging, as compared to doing what I "should" do - namely, what I really want to be doing (blogging), though perhaps not at that moment when it rolls around.
So too now. I'm writing this blog when I really should be doing some academic work. And what I want to be doing is taking a nap. So the "should" is getting lost...and there's no question that that is a bad choice. Even though it's the desirable one at the moment.
Apparently, the long-term vs. short-term factor has been noted by others who know more about this particular decision-making phenomenon (I mean, scientifically and all) than I do.
So too now. I'm writing this blog when I really should be doing some academic work. And what I want to be doing is taking a nap. So the "should" is getting lost...and there's no question that that is a bad choice. Even though it's the desirable one at the moment.
Apparently, the long-term vs. short-term factor has been noted by others who know more about this particular decision-making phenomenon (I mean, scientifically and all) than I do.
 |
| http://jimmybook.com/relationships/what-do-i-want-to-be-remembered-for/ (I could probably use this comic every single day!) |
Wednesday, June 20, 2012
The Problem with Momentum...
...is depending on it.
Namely, the momentum of writing each day of this month was serving me well. Until sleep won yesterday, even before I'd made a conscious decision to defer blogging.
Yesterday's decision indeed pertains to momentum, however. That is, the notion of continuing what you've begun because you've begun it and therefore can continue.
The most prominent application of this "continuing" yesterday (when this post should have been written) was exercise in the face of the wall of wanting to sleep instead. Pilates, as it happens. I did not have my usual strength - I really have been bone tired. But I kept going and certainly felt better afterwards - both physically and for keeping up the routine (having a great instructor doesn't hurt either).
How about you? Is there anything that momentum gets you to do? Are you glad? Would you rather stop?
Namely, the momentum of writing each day of this month was serving me well. Until sleep won yesterday, even before I'd made a conscious decision to defer blogging.
Yesterday's decision indeed pertains to momentum, however. That is, the notion of continuing what you've begun because you've begun it and therefore can continue.
The most prominent application of this "continuing" yesterday (when this post should have been written) was exercise in the face of the wall of wanting to sleep instead. Pilates, as it happens. I did not have my usual strength - I really have been bone tired. But I kept going and certainly felt better afterwards - both physically and for keeping up the routine (having a great instructor doesn't hurt either).
 |
| http://www.beyondthebodypilates.com/ |
How about you? Is there anything that momentum gets you to do? Are you glad? Would you rather stop?
Monday, June 18, 2012
Catching Up....
First on sleep - that's tonight's decision.
Next, on the blogposts from when I was away.
Stay tuned (and my apologies for the delay).
Sleep well, everyone.
Sunday, June 17, 2012
La Tour Eiffel
The decision is easy - do what you can, when in France. Even when that means running out the door after shabbos ends at 11:03 - to see the Eiffel Tower before the tickets for the elevator to the top are no longer sold. Except that they were no longer sold when we got there anyway.
More on this post (that belongs to yesterday's date - but note what I was doing during the hour when I could have posted it on June 16) later, when tricky WiFi is not an issue.
More on this post (that belongs to yesterday's date - but note what I was doing during the hour when I could have posted it on June 16) later, when tricky WiFi is not an issue.
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