When Decisions Take Care of Themselves

Sometimes, it's obvious: the rain decides the activity for the day (or the movie schedule, or the winter cold).

Sometimes, it seems that nothing will resolve a conundrum. Should I do X or Y? Should I hang out with P or Q? Will Route A or Route B be better for me in the long run. In weighing the pros and cons, advantages and disadvantages, the options seem equally good (or bad).

And then, like it or not, sometimes, Y or P or B spontaneously combusts. And all the potential inclination to do Y or hang with P or take Route B dissipates. It's actually not a happy thing, surprisingly. When you think something could be good and are then forced to recognize that you were deluding yourself...well, then...it's just not fun.

But there's hope still. Because when the decision takes care of itself, and you are left with only X to do and Q to hang with and Route A to walk down, then you are also left to find all the good in X and Q and A, without being plagued by the road not taken, since it was never really there for you anyway.

January and Onward

.............

Time to make the To-Do list...

There was a time when I had "resolve" in spades. Will-power for whatever I set my mind to accomplish - which doesn't mean I accomplished, by the way. But I certainly was able to keep myself tied to whatever task I had in mind. Now, I'm more distractable, and maybe have less focus. But wisdom is supposed to come with age, and while I'm nowhere near "wise," I'd like to think I can put my brains to work deciding where to exert true resolve....where to follow through for a year - at least! Experience teaches that even changes that don't last are still worthwhile, but I'd rather set my sights on that which I can accomplish without disappointing myself too much.

At the most basic level:

Let's hope that 2012 affords more opportunity for success than mere survival (even if surviving some days is success enough for those particular days). Though some more sleep would definitely be nice....So, with an eye to success....the beginning of all lists is rather vague, and yet it says all that needs to be said:

But for those who are eager for specifics (what, "something," "something else," "more stuff" and "that again" isn't enough for you?), here are some good intentions for January and the rest of 2012:

In the category of Self:

• Keep eating properly - enough calcium, enough iron (not together)...and so on. Without overeating (not always the easiest thing for me to manage, because it takes very little to fill me up).
• Aim for 2 hours of exercise per day (an hour in the morning, an hour in the evening), and don't let that drop below 30 minutes, for any day of 2012 (pending unforeseen circumstances, of course).
• That exercise does not include the 100 sit-ups each morning (with a minimum of 75, and aim to keep adding more).
• Davening with kavannah (hopefully), 3x/day. And never dropping below the minimum once/day. I'd love to claim I've never missed a day of at least some davening. When that includes the minimum level of berakhot, that's probably true. But more days than please me have passed where davening was altogether lost in the shuffle. This includes bentsching (if these words mean nothing to you, do not worry about it - basically, different elements of traditionally established and required prayer). 
• Keeping the house in an uncluttered, clean state. My apartment is nearly always clean, if sometimes a little dusty (Israel is a dusty country). But I have found that I both hate clutter and have a high tolerance for it. I aim to live without the clutter, and I have the feeling that it will impact positively on all the other goals as well.

Other items on the list that remain to be developed a little further, but should be in the weekly (if not daily) schedule:

• Learning
• Writing (including this blog, of course!)
• Drawing (well, something artistic).
• Cooking
• Dancing (which might count as exercise).

I know, I know - diet and exercise resolutions are cliche, but having discovered that undiscovered hypothyroidism has long been slowing me down, I'm very excited to make these plans and be able to believe I can carry them out - for real!

In the category of Others:

Ironically, I find this topic to be more private. Suffice it to say that the character traits that affect others that I believe need some fresh resolve include:

• Patience
• Gentleness
• Thinking before I speak
• Patience
• Living all the policies and techniques of the classroom with my colleagues and friends
• Restoring my old dedication to being in touch with people whom I otherwise would not be in touch with
• Ye Olde Golden Rule
• The whole honoring-the-parents business
• Not putting off people-things until tomorrow (despite the great Mark Twain edict on procrastination: "Never put off until tomorrow what can be done the day after tomorrow.")

There's ALWAYS room for improvement in the interpersonal side of things....and as soon as I post this, I'll find more points to list. It's not necessarily simple to predict what might need attention, and what might need repair. So this goal is fundamentally: repair anything that needs repairing, and pay attention so that nothing else will.

With wishes for all that this year will turn out even better than we want it to!